i spend roughly around 3% of my time riding elevators now. it’s getting to be a familiar scene — the elevator doors, the security guard, and the waiting chairs beside him. i glance at the office door and realized that i belonged to the other side of it now. i remember the time when my place was at the lobby — getting a visitor’s pass, rehearsing interview answers in my mind, staring at my rarely-worn formal shoes.
for a moment, it felt surreal.
sometimes, i just feel old.
often, i just feel too contemplative.
a full moon is more often than not a beacon that weird things are coming.
like how my sister and i got lost at the makati walkway in the morning searching for kfc. we ended up at mister donut.
like how i thought my biggest problem of the day was my HP password conking out again.
like how i got the call which said that my mom got hit in a car accident and was rushed to st. luke’s. like how you never never expected for the doctor to say that she needed bed rest and that she shouldn’t move for 3 weeks if she didn’t want an operation.
i know moons aren’t stars, but still i find myself wishing on one.
Everybody has their own ‘mot-mot’ (e.g. “emote-emote”) time. I usually have mine during the ride home from school (er, now, I guess it’s from work).
While trying desperately not to hear an over-enthusiastic cellphone call next to me, I zoned out and thought about college. I’ll probably never get over the ‘I-miss-UP’ phase.
And who can blame me? College life truly magnified every fear I had; I never felt more incapable in my life. But it also equipped me with skills and an outlook that is priceless, probably more than I could ever fathom.
It taught me that the first step to being wise is to acknowledge that you are stupid. Being wise doesn’t mean knowing the answers to everything. The trick is to know where to find the answers when you need them. Meanwhile, just learn and learn; the thirst to be educated should be insatiable and the well of knowledge is bottomless. Never waste mistakes; they probably are the best ways to learn.
Also, all my life I’ve been taught to play nice. But now I’ve learned that if you play by the rules, you get burned. Instead, play smart. Never cause another person misery on purpose though; pissing off karma is a recipe for doom. Play smart instead. Make mistakes and you’ll know what I mean.
There are just days that just weren’t meant to be good. Early day spoilers are the worst — a cranky parent, a ride with the world’s worst taxi driver — and the rest of the day is doomed. Summon all things good but still it’s hopeless. No matter how hard you try or how bad you want to psyche yourself up, nothing can brighten your mood anymore. Not perky siblings. Not treats. Not even a good movie. And you know it’s bad when a good movie doesn’t work anymore.
Thank God there’s a good life to compensate for bad days.