Amidst half-sleepiness (or half-awakedness, if you’re an optimist), one question dawned upon me earlier, one which I feel is long due: what’s so wrong with being ordinary?
As a child, my parents never bugged me to get high grades. Yet I did choose to drown myself in deadlines, contests, responsibilities and even more responsibilities. I have no idea how I turned out to be a total square.
Yet now, all I want is to, well, the word that comes to mind is float. No more dreams of grandeur, or wide recognition. Just being. Just chilling.
Sometimes it alarms me that I don’t have any plans at all. Haven’t really thought of career advancements or the like. Don’t really care if I get moved up any time soon. Nada. Totally unlike the grade-schoolish me.
I guess the pressure wore off once I stopped the lame attempts to impress people (call it a knee-jerk bunso thing). Once I discovered that I am indeed innately selfish, that only I could define happiness for me, all hangups wore off. And I am glad for that — although I wasted all the cranial capacity God has given me, the realization did wonders for my mental health.
I admit, this new outlook can be a little scary (what if regret finding myself amounting to nothing at all? what if i just become another echo?). The good thing is, once I realize that all the questions begin with ‘what if’, they get auto-dismissed by this new outlook too. Convenient.
I remember reading somewhere that the world doesn’t really need more successful people. What it really needs are happy people to be a happy place. I guess I’m still doing my part after all.
5 thoughts on “petix mode”
haha, you’re not alone in that one, so don’t worry. People who are too prickly about success always wind up getting burned out, believe me. And that decision to “chill”, i don’t think it’s wholly irresponsible. Actually it makes us realize how we can play to our talents with the least amount of effort or stress. Promise.
korak. :)parang may kakaibang surprisa factor na bigla kang umachievement nang wala masyadong effort pero enjoy pa rin. sabihin mo pa: “sus, di pa ko umeffort nyan a.” hahaha.
i think i like your new outlook. maybe it will do wonders for my mental health too 🙂
chillax! tayo na’t maging taong grasa!
mwehehe. apir mae! panalo talaga yung words of wisdom mo: ‘para sa akin, ang responsibilidad ay syet’. 🙂