that’s what she managed to say despite the tubes stuck through her nose and mouth. he fought back the tears and tried to shut out the pain.

the news of the cancer struck them so hard and fast, that they barely had time to reel. like the pang of their first fight. the throb of their Nth quarrel 40 years later. the slap they felt when they realized they somehow became total strangers. like the heartbreak in her face when he said he was leaving. then this.

so he stayed.

nothing’s more driven than a worn-and-beaten woman out to do some shopping.

and nothing’s more satisfying than when you find the single thing you’ve been looking for! i hauled away a blouse i’ve been eyeing for half the price, and the jacket that i’ve scoured so many malls for. in less than 3 hours! my shopping batting average has improved, i must say. just fab.

and i have great books to go home to! i dropped by the quaint used-book store at UP and got myself a thriller, an Anne Rice, and a Pear awardee. sweet.

i correct myself. nothing’s more satisfying when you find yourself slapped in the face with a great day when you least expect it.

Today on my Daily Quote Widget:

“Take rest; a field that has rested gives a beautiful crop.” – Ovid

Fudge. My crop must be hideous then. More like crap.

it took me 5 hours straight to draft my performance plan rating report for the year. 5 hours to document everything you’ve done for the past 12 months. every obstacle you leaped over. every person you had to deal with. 5 hours. eeek.

and i’m so glad it’s almost over. oktoberfest na!

the past few weeks have drained so much even beyond my usual tolerance of stress, that i’ve finally imposed an albeit escapist non-work thing on myself tonight. both Neil Gaiman fans, rhea and i caught Stardust at the cinema. LOVED IT. i loved it so much that i didn’t mind seeing claire danes almost for the entire movie. i was so ready with my criticisms that i was caught off guard. it was just what i needed, thank God. (thanks also to one of my best destressing buddies, rhea. we have so much to catch up on pa! haha.)

i keep on telling myself that the hullabaloo will all be over once October passes, but i know that it’s a longshot. but now, oh well, on a time when i can hardly catch my breath, i’m taking a breather, lounging out on the lazy boy (a VERY rare luxury), flipping through the channels. sometimes, it defies logic, but you find that it’s just all good.

i’ve been hearing so much about this play that i just had to to see it. i expected to cry from laughter; i braced myself for the expected adult humor. what i did not expect was to be hit with just the advice i needed.

for now. everything’s for now. it’s okay to not sweat things, to not take yourself so seriously, to not know what you’ll be in the future, or why you exist in the first place. sometimes we just get to wrapped up in ‘what’s next?’ that we actually forget to actually live the now. in the end, after all, the past and present have no say in the now.

I finally found some time to check out this quaint used books store at the UP Shopping Center, and Lord, I was so happy — I’ve hit the jackpot! It’s dreadful to be cliche, especially about a bookstore, but I felt like a brat set loose in a candy shop.

Left and right, classics and modern takes. Anne Rices. Grishams. Kurderas. Gaimans. Ayn Rands. All for around 50-200 bucks. Whee! It was the first bookstore I’ve been to that has a copy of Erich Segal’s Acts of Faith — it was that heavenly. For my first haul (definitely to be followed by more), I whisked away a George Orwell, an Og Mandino and a Douglas Adams.

I love devouring books — they give me a view of the world I would not get to see otherwise. It’s uncanny, but I get hit by the right dose of wake-up calls I just need during each time, be it new insight or good advice I’ve already forgotten. It’s like travelling — after each book, I come back as a new person. Or an awakened old me. Or even both. 🙂

Free time breeds discontent and paranoia.

Much as I love to loaf around, it’s too risky to give an opening for moping and sulking. Argh, I’m doing it again.

I don’t know if it’s just from the piles of forms I had to fill out ever since I joined the rat race. After ticking that S in the Marital Status checkbox, I just got hit with it. After 22 years, I’m a Single. This, in a world made for couples (i.e. duo, combos, dinner and movie for 2, marriage). Even my mom can’t wait to raffle me off. Dang, I’m a Single (sorry, just can’t seem to say it enough).

What’s stranger is that I’m not entirely sure if I’m bothered by it or not. As always, kebs.

brute force. haha. haven’t heard that term in a long time.