The Good Fight

We are an army. We outnumber them but ironically, this is the fact that works against us and pits us against each other. Yes ladies, the official ratio as of current is 105 girls to 100 guys. It doesn’t look so bad, but this is without filtering out the gay and the clergy. The sooner you get over the fact, the better.

Here we are, armed with all the feel-good books and talk shows you can find for our growing market share. I can’t remember when I started the hunt for good chick-lit/old-maid fiction, one that will console me for what seems to be inevitable. I remember being pissed off at ones that had a good premise but sold-out in the end when the heroine magically finds the ever-elusive perfect guy that will love her unconditionally. Bah, humbug.

Here we are ladies, putting up the good fight. Believing that if we hold out, we will sooner or later meet the one who was worth the wait. This is while also believing that if we don’t find him, we’ll be okay because we were freaking awesome to begin with. Sometimes, I can’t help but wonder what’s worse — chasing a futile hope or catching yourself in a self-induced delusion.

And as always, this shall end as unresolved. Will get back to you after 50 years. Or 2012. Whichever comes last.

kaladkarin goes surfing in bali

Of course, I wasn’t going to let a trip to Bali pass by without trying to catch a wave! I signed up for surf classes on our last day, and I have nothing but praises for the Pro Surf School in Kuta. Kudos!

Thanks Errol for the pictures! =) I look funny when I put on my game face — that’s why I resolve to not take myself so seriously. Nyahaha.

[ Pics over at http://ishg.multiply.com/photos/album/43/kaladkarin_goes_surfing_in_bali ]

Finally, an answer

A friend posted pics of their climb to Kota Kinabalu, and again I found myself grasping for an answer for that age-old question for any climber — why do I climb?
I’ve always thought it was because I can, but having more time to think about it, it’s more like because I need to believe that I can. I need to know that amidst all the chaos,  I still have a full grasp on what’s truly beautiful.

I climb because I need to be reminded of how small I really am, because sometimes I forget.

On Being Uprooted

I don’t know how else to describe it. It’s finding yourself with your kindred souls. Finding your own wavelength amidst the noise. Where you don’t need to explain nor apologize for who you are. Where relating is as easy as breathing. Then leaving all that, and you’re not able to fit in anywhere else. Even when I’m already having fun, it’s as if everything reinforces how I miss how things used to be.

emo attacks can be hazardous for your health.

but it can do wonders for your blog, apparently. i hate emo attacks — it’s like the anti-endorphin. all that cardio gone to waste, because you fell for the mope-until-a-friend-snaps-you-out-of-it trap.

i realize that i haven’t blogged for a while (thanks KE for reminding me!). although, i’ve been jotting down snippets of my thoughts for when those emo attacks strike — mostly during long commutes when i unfortunately have to listen to myself whimper. looking back, most of them were not so bad as i thought they were; they all passed and i survived them, didn’t i? sometimes it’s good to be reminded of your lapses in character, so that you also remember that you were able to move past them.

09/07 – After another OT at the office, sprinkled with truckloads of family drama

The only good thing with having a totally crappy day is that things could not be possibly get worse the next day.

09/08 – Somewhere between the walk from the MRT to our house

At some point of our lives, each of us here must have wept on our own. Out of frustration. Out lof loneliness. Out of utter helpless ness. Even the toughest guys were born with tearducts.

09/17 – A rare glimpse of sunlight

I think I found the key. You can’t help but compare yourself with others, but at least make it a point of comparing yourself with people you actually would want to turn out to be. There’s no point in crying foul on why a doofus seems to get all the breaks, when you want to have totally nothing in common with that doofus.

09/22 – After catching myself yet again asking questions without no answers

This is the curse of having a mind made for math. You’ve gotten used to putting everything into neat, elaborate equations, that when you realize that life doesn’t really work out that way, you feel stupid or worse, inadequate. Inadequate in all the things that matter – chance, talent, charm, intuition, endless permutations of these.

09/22 – Yeah, I know, pathetic, it was the same afternoon

Is this what normally happens after college? It seems like I’m always at the crossroads and everyone’s honking their horns for me to make up my mind.

kaladkarin hits hk+macau with ke

(this shall henceforth be known as the trip wherein ke and i survived with our cellphone cams. bow.)

passport? check. usd? check. camera? check. memory card?… uh-oh. houston, we have a problem.

after giving ourselves a serious smack in the head, we pushed on with our sightseeing of eventful HK and pretty macau, armed only with our nokia cams. i think we’ve identified 1001 sights spread across the wax museum, disneyland and macau that would have been kick-ass, only if we’ve caught it with nothing less than a point-and-shoot. i’d like to think that the pictures were crappy this time… because we’re definitely coming back! 🙂 (ke, one thing though — do we have a picture with crisel?! eep!)

[ Pics over at http://ishg.multiply.com/photos/album/42/kaladkarin_hits_hkmacau_with_ke ]

ondoy, unggoy ka.

it’s the ultimate OFW cliche, but it’s so apt i have to say it anyway — ang hirap talagang malayo sa pamilya mo.

i’m at my nth video clip of the havoc that Ondoy wreaked in Manila. flashfloods happening in places where it never happened for the last 20 years. cars and vans floating like Matchbox toys. people stuck in rooftops, waiting for rescue. and all i can do is watch and wait until i hear from my family.

i think everyone is still at a state of shock, that no one has really fully taken in how much devastation has happened. to think that this happens all the time to the provinces, those without twitters and facebook accounts to ask for choppers to come to the rescue. it will take much time for this to sink in.

for the mean time, i’ll go back to waiting word from my home. godspeed, everyone.

3, 2, 1…

Three.

If I would be allowed to do only three things and be miserable the rest of the time, then those three will be the following — dance, drink beer, and play sports. Not necessarily in that order.

Having two out of three this week wasn’t bad at all. It was a rare occassion that I was able to whisk myself out of the office before 7 to attend the HipHop 1 class at OSchool’s new location at Lavender. I guess they’re still working on the airconditioning — it was turned off before our class was ended, so the mirror got all misty and we literally had to wipe the mirror every now and then just to see ourselves.

An even rarer occassion was that I got to hang out with my teammates for drinks after work. Huwaw. That’s how every job was meant to be — good or bad, there should always be beer at the end. :p  My former team lead just flew in from London; he’s brilliant at work, but he was also the type who always rallies the troop and drags us away from our PCs for some good-old WLB (thank God!). I do admit, it’s hard sometimes being the only Filipino in the group, but at other times, the way I look at it, I have the most to gain. I mean, I’m learning A WHOLE LOT about perspectives I’ve never dealt with before. It’s amazing how much they know not just about their culture, but about the world as well. This Pinay must have looked a lot goofy, smiling and trying to decipher common Hindi expressions. Something tells me the learning will never end. =P

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Two.

When tributes to two of your greatest heroes can be found in one place, you just know you HAVE to be there (and no, this does not involve Michael Jackson). Dragging myself off to the other end of the island, this kaladkarin went solo to see the Da Vinci exhibit and Van Gogh IMax movie over at the Science Centre (nerdox much?). Honestly, the Da Vinci exhibit was a bit underwhelming; I was expecting more than things that I could have just Googled. As for the Van Gogh movie, it was worth it. I now remember why I braved the heat and the commute to see this 40-minute/8-bucks flick — in 4 words, beauty found in chaos. Sweet.

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One.

The one. That elusive one. You begin to wage a war on the world, knowing that there will never be that perfect match, but then this one comes along, who brings your hopes up. Maybe, just maybe, there’s a chance. There will be trade-offs, definitely. Something endearing will always be compensated by something annoying, and vice-versa. And then, at a wink,  it’ll be lost again. You’ll both be in the market.

Just when I was getting to love how near I was to the office and to the MRT, next month we have to move again. I guess I knew all along that I was destined to be a nomad. But I guess this is all for the best — it’ll be just like scouting the island, before I’m ready to settle down and commit to one place. Hay. Pati ba naman pagdating sa bahay, non-committal pa rin ako! I knew it. :p

And the firsts just keep on coming…

Found a clip of my first hiphop class at SG. Whoever told me that there wasn’t much of a hiphop community in SG — you and I need to talk. OSchool seems to be a fun place to learn & hang out, but boy, do they teach fast. The whole routine was taught in just under one hour — I think double the steps and half the time when compared to the classes I’m used to. I think I’ll stick to the beginner classes first. =P Don’t even bother to look for me in the vid — I’m the one messing up all the steps. =P

The 3-Year Mark

Yesterday, I would have celebrated my third year at HP. As it was a Friday and chance chose to smile upon me that day, I would fortunately remember it as my first clubbing night-out at my new post. Haha.

We were happy to show off Clarke Quay to Dino, my college blockmate, during the last night of his business trip here in SG. Our merry band was composed of the usual HP alumni (Ben, Mike, Donald and me) and Dino and Aimee, another college orgmate. Initially, I thought we would just be out for dinner, coffee and good chatter, but after one turn led to another, we found ourselves at China One, a bar/club/billiards-hall recommended by Aimee. As Aimee’s birthday had just past, she generously sponsored a bottle of tequila AND a bottle of vodka, with beers++.  The gapes on our faces must have been amusing. After several shots, we danced like there was no tomorrow and had a go at the billiards table. Niko, the eternal party animal, joined us a few moments later. After some more shots and chatter, we finally called it a night, but not without taking away some anecdotes from that night that we know will still be hilarious months from now (diba Dino? 🙂 ). Thanks Dino for letting our bunch of drunk delinquents crash your hotel room at 4 am. Thanks also, HP, for giving Dino that room. 🙂

But of course, most of all, thank you, Lord, for always looking out for me. I’m blessed to have a group of fun & amazing friends, a sister, relatives, and friends of friends of friends, right here with me who will never let me forget how thankful I should be. Hats off to you.

Happy birthday, Aimee!
Happy birthday, Aimee!

Monthsary

A fellow HP-graduate-now-in-SG told me that if you lasted for a month here without being homesick, then the chances are pretty slim that you’ll ever be homesick. If that carries a grain of truth, then I guess the worst is over. Last 13th was my first month-sary in my new job. Incidently, we also had an after-work bash on the same day to celebrate the completion of a project. Drinks galore, and free too! What did I do to deserve this?!

I usually go off with my Pinoy buddies during breaks and lunches, but this time, I went with my teammates (I’m the only Pinoy in the group) to the venue. They weren’t kidding when they said the bar will be at a place you least expected it to be. It’s on the top floor of a secluded furniture-and-tiles building at an industrial compound. Whoever discovered the place must really have been thirsty; at least I got to bond even just for a bit with my teammates during our excursion to find the place.

At the party, my teammate, Shiji, took it upon herself to introduce me to others. I must have met more new people that night compared to my entire first month at the office. I also got to mingle with some other Pinoys in other teams, and other non-Pinoys as well. It was interesting to note that the ones who brought their pimped-up SLRs were all Filipinos. =P All in all, it was refreshing to mix with everyone in a loose environment.

Pics to follow =P