All posts by ishg

All things new

New, new, new. New office. New teammates. New passwords to remember. New faces to tag with names.

I just wish that the new would be enough to drown out the yearning for the old. For comfort. For familiarity.

I still don’t know where I belong — at the edge or cozy at home. Maybe neither.

As I deal with my own emo tra-la-las, the folks at home are going through their own drama. No matter how much I’d like to think it’s because of my leaving, I have a feeling I was only a trigger of a bigger blast that was already bound to happen.

First Night

You know how it feels when you’re in deep sleep, you know you’re dreaming, but you carry on anyway? That’s kind of how I feel right now, except that every bit of it is real.

It’s my first night in SG, and and jitters take over every nerve on my body. You’d think I was going to my first day at high school instead of my first day to report to work tomorrow. Will they be friendly? What if I totally mess up? What if I do something wrong already? What the heck am I going to wear?

Mike, who was unexpectedly part of my welcome party at the airport together with my sister, was able to document almost every step of my arrival  (or rather, almost every detail of my boots =P). My sister helped me unpack my stuff, look for new pillows, basically settle in. M also came along for a recon of my office so I won’t get lost tomorrow, then our trio ended the day with some rounds of brew at Clarke Quay. Day 1, and I’ve said goodbye to hopes of sobriety already. So far, so good.

Kaladkarin Gets Charmed by Bicol

The best thing about this picture? Not the sun. Not the beach. It's sharing the shot with friends as awesome as these guys.

There was no way I was leaving the land of glorious beaches without one last trip. Since Jan already had a trip set with her high-school++ friends, Alex, Ralph & I invited ourselves to Jan’s hometown for the Holy Week break (hehe =P).

8 hours on the bus + 1.5 hours on the back of a pickup + 2 hours on a boat = sore butts. By noon, we find ourselves arriving at Caramoan, with a welcome lunch waiting for us prepared by Caramoan’s parish priest. After several bouts of conversation about boat trips, islands, sharks and malunggay, we proceeded to a house in a barrio by the seaside to settle. It was nice to be reminded of the trips I had before HP happened — where electricity and a shower were luxuries, but nothing could beat the sights and calm. Roselyn, Jan’s HS buddy, was an awesome cook and led the troops in the kitchen. After dinner, we literally laid down on the road right outside the house, chatting the night away under the stars with beers at hand. This is the life. Continue reading Kaladkarin Gets Charmed by Bicol

commencement exercises

When you realize that you barely have two weeks to spend in a company where you have done a lot of growing up, the feeling can be overwhelming. You think a lot about loose ends to tie up. About the relationships you want to hold on to. About how this can be the last time you can find anything as awesome as this. It feels a lot like graduating, to tell you the truth.

Well, you have a point…

My friend and I were having a discussion about girls with strong personalities, and she really cracked me up when I was asking a really serious question:

Me: Iniisip kaya ng mga guys tibo ako? (I wonder if guys think I’m a lesbian?)
Friend: Hay naku, kung tibo ka, may girlfriend ka na ngayon. (Goodness, if you were a lesbian, you’d have a girlfriend by now.)

Haha, point taken.

Ground Zero

I knew the day would come when I had to make THE decision. In my gut, I knew I had the interview in the bag. I just never anticipated that I would have to make the choice within just a day.

HP has been my home — literally and figuratively — for the past ~3 years and beyond its walls, I knew not of what monsters and angels there were out there in the “real” world. Am I that reckless?

More than once, that day we went cliff-diving at Tali comes to mind. Tayo. Talon. (Stand. Jump.)

And here I am, a few hours later, pondering on what I’ll say to my team. It’s funny how perfectly articulate we seem to be when we daydream about how dramatic but perfectly eloquent we’ll be on the day we resign. But what I found was once I was there, I was gasping for words like air. There was no day I could do anything work-related that day until I got it off my chest.

The first to know were my soul-sisters, Jan & Rhea; they tolerated my whining and second-guessing while I was still deliberating my decision. Then I told Aaron, my manager, then Ralph, to whom I was entrusting almost every ‘legacy’, if you will; both went easier than I thought. Then I told Mara, who took me by surprise when she burst out in tears. Then Alex. Then the news eventually cascaded to everyone, almost on its own.

So it’s official — chapter 1 is over, and this crazy kiddo is headed to Singapore in less than a month. I’ll be leaving Easter Sunday (new life!) in hopes of a new, better me. To say the decision was hasty is a grave understatement, but crazy as it may seem, it just felt like it was time to rock the boat. And also, as a slight sub-reason, I can’t refute that distance would be a gift right now, as there are some things I’d rather not witness.

To the new me. Cheers!

Bootcamp for the Culinarily-Challenged: Round Two!

Challenge #2 was to cook a cream-based pasta dish. What originally started as pesto sauce came out to be what I’ll call Pasta with Turkey and Cream Cheese Sauce. =P I have a feeling that the best (or at least, most enjoyable) recipes are the ones that aren’t planned. I had a lot of mishaps this time (i.e. the bowl falling into the pan, me pouring A LOT of basil instead of just a dash), but those things just made round 2 a lot of fun. =P And oh, I also made a blueberry pie for my sweet tooth (again, instant, but hey, I’m baking!)

Bootcamp for the Culinarily-Challenged: One Down!

There have been some instances when I was able to whip up something miraculous out of the blue — none of those feats involve the kitchen, however. During team offsites, I’d rather be in charge of drinks instead of food, lest I want my friends to die from starvation (or worse, from food poisoning! Eep!).

This year, I resolved to take matters into my own hands, and I’ll be forcing myself to cook at least one decent dish per month (except for Feb, I have to cook 2 since I skipped January =P). And you know what? It was actually possible! I was able to come up with fusilli topped with some random ingredients (tomatoes, tuna, mushroom and cheese) without screwing anything up. I also wanted to try out a friend’s tip about baking (our oven’s busted but he told me that a turbo broiler does more or less the same thing), so I put a box of instant brownie mix to the test and, booyah, yummy dessert. =) The folks at home finished off their meals without collapsing, so I think it’s fair enough to say that round one has been officially conquered.

Yep, I know it’s still a longshot from warranting the respect of anyone culinarily-able, but at least I’m making baby steps.I am just so psyched right now. Whoopee! =)

My 25 Random Things

I finally got this done! Am tagging everyone who wants to make their own list. Hehe. =P

1. I’m a true-blue kaladkarin. It takes all of my will to say no to an interesting trip, event or experience. A great year would be getting to visit 12 islands in Luzon, Visayas and Mindanao within 12 months. An awesome year would be wherein every trip is paid for by someone else. Haha!

2. Each time before I take a bath, I dip my hand into the water and make the sign of the cross. It was an odd habit I picked up way back when our housekeeper made me do it every time she would give me a bath.

3. I could Youtube all day. I look up dance vids, commercials, series episodes, viral vids, almost everything online. Yep, that also goes to say that I barely watch TV. I blame Youtube for multiple counts of tardiness.

4. I used to write like crazy. I almost took Journalism instead of Computer Science. No regrets here.

5. I like geek talk, so sue me.

6. If you ask my closest friends, almost all my crushes have NOTHING in common.

7. As a child, I was a church rat. My kababatas are composed of members of the kids’ choir and the Knights of the Altar. We still hang out. One of us just got hitched last month; I think he was the first of the bunch.

8. I have a 15-year old niece, Ikay — her presence dots my Multiply albums. Ikay, my elder sister Ate Teng and I compose the Tres Marias of my family. We hang out a lot and goof out more often. Our favorite gimiks are going out to see flicks (especially cartoons!), wasting time at the arcade, window-shopping at toy stores and of course, gorging on comfort food. Ikay eats the most out of us three.

9. I’m that movie freak that laughs out loud and even claps (!) in the middle of movies. Back in HS, my favorite game with my movie buddies was Guess-That-Movie-Trailer. Sometimes the games turned to shouting matches wherein the winner was the one who blurted out the movie title first. Trust me, you would have hated to be seated next to us. I’ve also watched movies solo several times, and regretted none of those instances.

10. I think I’ll always be an outdoors girl, even if I’m actually terrified of swimming in anything that’s beyond the reach of my toes.

11. The farthest and most challenging mountain I’ve ever climbed was Mt. Apo, and that by far was the most humbling experience I’ve ever had in my life.

12. I’ve found a new vice in dancing. I’d scrimp on money for food, but not money for weekend dance classes. I dance while I walk. I dance while I work. I dance while I type. I sincerely hope I could do this forever.

13. I get sad when I commute without listening to music from my mp3 player (either I left it at home or it ran out of battery). Truly sad. I get so irritable that sometimes I throw tantrums, and God forbid that you should find yourself in the middle of an Ish-tantrum.

14. It doesn’t suit me, but I’m such a crier. I cry when I laugh. I cry when I get mad. I cry at sad movies. I cried upon hearing the first riffs of ‘Alapaap’ during the EHeads concert.

15. I’ve lost more than 10 cellphones in less than 10 years. The one I had longest with me was for less than a year; the shortest lifespan was 2 weeks. But if you’re a close friend, you probably already knew that.

16. I’m the youngest of five girls. Even if out of the five, I have the least chance of getting anything new, I have the comfort of knowing that I’m the cute one. Haha! =P I often think of how it could have been like if all of us could have grown up at least in the same country (two of them are in Canada, while one’s in Singapore). Riot!

17. Ikay and I borrow each other’s clothes and shoes. Good thing we have the same taste.

18. I still have a vivid recollection of the first time I cheated on a test. It was during Grade 3 — I had some trouble memorizing the multiplication table. In the middle of a quiz, I felt someone kick me and I saw my seatmate gesture to a copy of the multiplication table underneath our chairs. You know who you are! =P

19. When Neil Gaiman came to Manila, I got to hug him! Thanks Quel for hooking me up.

20. One sure-fire way to make me sleepy — scratch my head.

21. One sure way to tick me off is to let me catch you littering. Argh! Ang laki naman ng basurahan mo.

22. I got my first INC and my first DRP in UP when I took up masters. Humabol pa…

23. 2008 was a good year for me. It was the first time I stepped out of Philippine territory — and my first destination was India. Definitely an experience.

24. I dream of doing a lot of things, but the one thing I really want to do is to bungee jump. My parents are going to kill me, but I’m going to die anyway. =P

25. I want to finish writing a book as well someday. Maybe something on being single forever. =P

Mission Impossible

Mark this day — 1st of February 2009 — as the day we took matters into our own hands. Tried to be more proactive, you could say.

In another sudden bout of insanity, A, R & I bound ourselves to a bet.

A was lose 30 pounds.

R was to find a girlfriend.

I was to get a boyfriend.

First one to do the deed gets treated to a fancy-schmancy all-you-can-eat.

In short, I gambled on doing something that I’m proven to be perfectly incapable of doing for the past 24 years. Oh yeah. Darn it, I’ve never bound myself to a bet that I wasn’t set on winning. I’m a competitive person by nature, and I always knew that would always lead me to trouble. This time, though, it might lead me to something good too.

It’s both nerve-wracking and exhilirating at the same time. This may be the hardest goal I’ve set for myself ever. The gloves are off! One thing’s for sure — this is going to be fun.

The old me never did me any good in the romance department. Maybe getting myself into trouble was just the push I needed.

i heart.

a ‘hearts’ post THIS near to february? coming from me? the world must be coming to an end.

the topic’s usually too sappy for my own taste (oh spare me the accusing looks), but this was too astonishing to just brush off. i came across a post of heart-shaped natural features found in the planet — islands, lakes, forests, you name it. awesome, right?


the first one’s an island called Galesnjak in Croatia, the second one’s a heart-shaped mangrove in New Caledonia, while the last one’s a real forest in Cantabria, Spain. amazing. maybe we can have heart-shaped rice terraces. anyway, if you want more, just click over here to get bowled over.

You’re Asking Me?

It’s actually a bit funny how my teammates would go on and ask me for relationship advice. I’m like, ‘what do I know?’ It was like asking a polar bear on how the tropics are like.

Sometimes they tell me it’s good to have some ‘objective’ opinion from someone single like me (okay, more like ‘eternally single like me’). I take it in and try to understand and enjoy my assigned role — Ye the Unbiased Single Friend. I just hope they read the disclaimer — everything I dish out are based on theory and might actually not be worth crap.